


You've Got A Big Torso, Dude.

by cobblestyles



Series: The merry Avengers [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Other, basically they're all dorks, honestly this is just for kicks, scott and natasha are kind of friends in this, this is still after civil war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:35:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7026898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobblestyles/pseuds/cobblestyles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Captain America comics are an endless source of fun. Especially for Natasha. Not so much for Steve, especially when he's naked in them. Scott is just happy he's part of the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Got A Big Torso, Dude.

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a follow-up to my previous fic, Oh Captain Not Hydra , because people were curious about that naked Steve Rogers reference (I see you) so I decided to write a little somethin'. Scott's POV this time because he's one of my favorites.
> 
> Again, I don't own anything, unfortunately. Enjoy!

Scott is a little jealous. Okay, he’s pretty new to this all Avengers thing but still. A little cameo would be nice. He’s not asking for much. And sure, Captain America is a science miracle or whatever. The guy’s been in ice for years. A century to be exact. Scott used to sell ice. Oh, the irony of his existence.

But Natasha looks positively gleeful. And she’s currently reading the new Captain America issue. So it must be a good one. 

“Is it any good?” he asks, for the sake of it. Natasha actually beams at him. Uh.  
“Oh, it’s good. Trust me.”

Scott doesn’t know her very well (at all, really) but he knows better than to question her. He tries to read over her shoulders until she gives in and shows him the page she’s apparently stuck to. And, okay. Wow. Alright then. That’s a very naked Steve Rogers on that page. A very tall, in all his muscular glory, Steve Rogers.

“Holy shit!”

He’s got nothing better to say. Scott knows how to appreciate beauty, he’s not made of stone. And he’ll admit that Steve is a very attractive human. What? It’s not a big deal. 

“I can’t wait for Steve to see this. Mister Sensitive, in the nude. It should be fun.” Natasha clearly enjoys this.  
“You’re a weird kind of spy” he tells her, because really. She is.

She just laughs and Scott thinks it’s supposed to be comforting but he shivers anyway. He tried to call her Nat once, and she elbowed him so hard he fell. She insists she didn’t hit him that hard, and that she truly likes him. She was joking. JOKING.

“You don’t know Steve like I do” she continues, still laughing (why is he alone with her, WHY), “but behind that cool exterior is a very, very timid guy. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a prude, but he gets embarrassed so easy, it’s hilarious.”

Scott just nods, wishing someone, anyone, would come in the room and steals him away. Why did he join? Oh yes, heroism. What a concept. 

“I was lying, by the way” she adds, smirking, “Steve doesn’t have a cool exterior. He wears grandpa vests, for some reason.”

Scott finally cracks up laughing. Because yes, that is very true.  
“Yeah! Isn’t he technically in his twenties?”  
“He is! I told him he needed to go shopping but did he listen?”  
“Well he was probably too busy….saving the world and stuff.”

Natasha turns to him, like he’s the camera and she’s in The Office.

“I’m busy saving everyone’s asses and you don’t see me with the same outfit every day once I’m done.”  
“You make a valid point.”

Steve, Bucky and Sam come back and Natasha instantly stands, branding the new comic book in her hands. Steve rolls his eyes and doesn’t bother checking it.

“Oh come on Steve, this one should please you!”  
“Am I in it?” Sam says, eyeing the comic suspiciously.  
“I think you are cause I see a pigeon on the back.” Bucky says, dodging out of the way.  
“Very funny, Metal Man!”

Natasha follows Steve everywhere until he sighs and shouts “Fine! I’ll read it, give it to me!”

Scott starts humming “Give it to me I’m worth it” and if looks could kill, he’d be dead in a second. But Sam joins in and there’s nothing Steve can do except read the goddamn book. Being naked isn’t worse than say…, make him Hydra all along. Now that would be stupid. Natasha is rubbing her hands like a supervillain while Bucky invades the couch.

And oh. Oh God. Steve is blushing. Scott taps Natasha on the shoulder excitedly, bouncing a little. She grabs his hand and shit. He’s trapped now. Rookie mistake.

“See something you like?”  
She’s twirling her hair. Scott is impressed, because she’s not losing the grasp she has on him. Fuck, he trained for weeks!

“I….umm…”Steve is blabbering, unable to look at anyone but the book in his hands.  
“Okay, now I’m curious” Sam says, smiling a little, like he knows.

Bucky gets to Steve before Sam can and shields him away from Sam. It’s touching. Scott would put a hand on his heart if he could, you know, move.

“Steve.” Bucky is using a very calming voice, it’s eerie. “What is it?”  
“Umm”

Who knew Captain America was so eloquent?

“Come on Stevie, just show me. It’s fine.”  
“I....Fine, but just for you.”

Bucky nods, smiles, and grabs the book. His face changes in an instant. He looks at the page, then at Steve, then at Natasha and bursts out laughing. Sam backs off a bit and turns to Scott and Natasha, who just shrugs.

“You are naked in this!” he exclaims, and Steve’s look of betrayal deserves to be drawn as well.  
“He’s WHAT?”

Sam manages to take a look and giggles. Giggling. Scott never thought he’d ever hear a super-hero giggle but here we are. 

“This is priceless! Look at the details!”

Steve looks like he wants to shrink. Uh, maybe Scott could help him do that. Having Cap as an ally would be extremely cool. He’s not sure Hope would agree but. It won’t hurt to try.

“This is so embarrassing…”he mumbles, still not looking at anyone.  
“It’s not embarrassing” Natasha assures him, “you’re changing into your super suit. This is Steve Rogers doing mundane things, like taking his clothes off.”  
“Why would anyone care to see that?” Steve wails, dropping on the couch.  
“I would.” Bucky mutters, and Sam snorts.

The good news is that Natasha finally let go of Scott, so he tries to rub Steve’s back. He’s not sure they’re in that place yet but he looks like he needs the comfort.

“You’ve got a big torso, dude.” he says instead, and why, WHY does he ever talk?  
“No, I mean...you look good. I mean! You shouldn’t be ashamed, look at you!”

Is he actually saying those words? Everyone else is laughing and Steve looks more and more distressed. This is not good. Goodbye Cap Ant Ally.

“Steve.” That’s Bucky and his calming voice again. Bless this dude. “It’s fine. This is just a drawing. It’s not like porn or anything.”  
“Yeah, it could be worse.” Natasha has stopped laughing. “Honestly, we’re here for you in this difficult time.”

She cracks up again, followed by Sam. Bucky glares at them. Jesus, Scott would not want to be the target of that glare.

“For what it’s worth, you look way better in real life.”

Wow, okay, WHAT? 

“Really?” Steve says, turning to Bucky. “You think this is...bad?  
“Not bad, just. Not the real you. Don’t be embarrassed. You’re not even doing anything naughty in it, you’re just changing. But, I should be making sure they don’t mess you up next time.”

Does no else hear this? Now Sam and Natasha are gone. Of course. Scott fiddles with his shirt for a few seconds until he clears his throat and mumbles “I should go”. 

Maybe the writers should base their comics on real life events instead of making up improbable plots. And maybe they could add Scott Lang in it. Really, he’s kind of small. He could fit on a page. Or two.


End file.
